In the spirit of it being a new year, I tidied up my bookcases. I use the term “tidy” loosely, of course; I don’t care for my home office to be in perfect order. It’s much neater now than it was before since I acquired my late father’s desk and a couple of other storage solutions from Canadian Tire, but I think regular readers know I can never completely let go of that particular bad habit. I thrive in a bit of a mess.

Anyway, besides the obvious use for the three bookcases taking up residence in my office, they’re also home to sketchbooks, art supplies, and… the list below. Try and guess what stuff I saved.

-VHS copies of the original Planet of the Apes and Manhunter. I do not own a VCR, nor do I own a DVD copy of Planet of the Apes, which is a shame as it’s one of my favourite movies. I’ve never seen Manhunter and I’m not sure how it came to find a home on top of that particular bookcase, but I think it’s based on Red Dragon, which I’ve read, so… yeah, not sure about that one.

-A deck of Universal-Waite tarot cards. I vaguely remember buying them at World’s Biggest Bookstore quite a few years back, although I don’t remember why, as I’m not into the occult. Was it for a long-forgotten art project? Beats me.

-Lace-covered and decoupaged masks, made from molds of my own face, from my art school days.

-Typewriter ribbons. The really amazing thing about the typewriter ribbons is that they’re all for different models of typewriters. But none of them are compatible with my Canon QS-100, which was my favourite when I still used a typewriter, when I was in my early teens and later when I wrote zines. For some reason known only to God, I own five typewriters in all. All but one were gifts.

-A box of Nicorette inhaler refills that expired in 2010. Fortunately I quit smoking the year before, and without the help of that stupid inhaler. It tasted like a menthol cigarette. Ew.

-A bag of balloons. I don’t like balloons.

-A bendable Mr. Bacon figure. I’ve been vegetarian for the better part of a decade, and therefore eschew bacon. This was a passive-aggressive stocking stuffer gift from a family member who thought I would be grossed out by Mr. Bacon. I wasn’t.

-Cat shampoo. Some idiot thought this was a good idea, and I was the idiot who agreed with him.

-An inflatable pink Easter bunny, still half-inflated.

-An empty box for the first router I ever owned. Of all the stuff I uncovered on my bookcases, this is the biggest mystery.

-A set of dominoes in a wooden box. That may actually be MM’s; I’m not sure.

-Three paint palettes.

-My iPhone 4 box. God, I miss my iPhone, and I never thought I would. It all but died on me last summer and I “upgraded” (haha) to a Samsung Galaxy model that will never stop sucking no matter how much I bastardize it.

-A build-your-own pinhole camera kit that takes 35 mm film, and cannot be assembled without the help of an eight-year-old with more coordination than I have.

-Copies of Legal Office Procedures and Ontario Civil Practice from my first, aborted attempt at post-secondary education. I think those were the biggest surprises. I would’ve been a lousy law clerk. Good Lord, think of the state of my office.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s